Zimbabwe UK woman video mentally frees many women in domestic torture


Listen to the video before proceeding to the story

For many and if only we stop pretending, the video released by Gaynor has too familiar content. Husbands who cheat on us are  not new. Houses are full of them. What is new in fact  is that we have a woman who has brilliantly shared her story via video and on social media to an extent it has generated a good discussion on issues that kill woman silently. How would you feel if your husband was to cheat on you in your house or even elsewhere?

After all is said and done this woman has done something heroic. She has confronted our fears to break silence and educate society at large that promiscuity remains killer number 1 of women. One needs to listen to her video carefully to get her message clearly. It heals hearts of women struggling with the same issue. And that`s what those of our sisters who have chosen to play the promiscuity games with such cheap men are attacking her for. She has made impact on her campaign against domestic violence.

Like me and you and all of us, Gaynor is a mum and as we have seen in her video she is a wife with a home she looks up to. She has three children. As far as I know there is no woman who would be so brave to speak out via video. Something must have prompted her to come out in the open and present her case to the whole world. It is so touching and deeply moving to see an appeal for help to us all and her sincerity to talk to all women who hide such pain. Yes, believe me, and all of us know that. A lot of our men become promiscuous. Most probably you have spent your whole life putting so much into an affair  that someone does not appreciate at all.

If someone pays even more attention to her message and which is the first of its kind to come via video within diaspora communities amongst married women, you get a feeling that she is strengthening many whose husbands hop from woman to woman. Whether you want her to hide the secret and pretend all is fine or not, but she presents many married women with an opportunity  to reflect on their situations and in her narrative she shows us how gracefully she handled the matter of finding her home filtered with her husband and another woman. Many women physically fight, commit suicide and murder. But she did not go that route.

Now as for my recommended way forward. I want to appeal to the police to ensure whoever caused pain on Gaynor to be formally charged with mentally torturing her. If indeed and which is something we all believe by now based on her video the man was with the alleged Ennet Kambarami, then the two must face criminal charges and pay fully the distress they caused her and the children. Domestic violence includes emotional abuse and mental torture and I tell you mental torture by a partner is the worst form of domestic violence. We want to know that a criminal case has been opened and that the  two culprits are punished. The place the man entered with the woman is a marital home and not a public toilet.

Then as for our Zimbabwe community in UK, lets find ways to support women like Gaynor. She has come out to us to speak out with hope that we listen. As you are aware many women we have mourned before have been tragically murdered because they feared the shame of exposing promiscuity by their husbands but here is a woman who speaks out before she loses herself or kids. She has consequently liberated more women who find it hard to speak out.

And to those who find laughter in  such pain, I tell you one day you will need a shoulder to cry on. It might be your sister or daughter going through this one day and Gaynor will remind you that we all need each other. And those who find time to blame and bully Gaynor during her testimony, I tell you one day you will seek for someone to listen to you to no avail. As a community lets embrace each other and celebrate that at least one woman is alive in what looks like could be a tragedy. No woman could handle this the way Gaynor did.

On our part we have put this case on high alert and we are following it and hopefully the police will engage some experts in the community to help Gaynor in this challenging moment. There is a time you need someone to hold hand till trauma subsides and if ever there was to be that  time, it is now.